Oh my goodness! I made it through my first semester at CSUCI :) Along the way I learned a few things (let's hope so... CSUCI exists for that very purpose!) I learned it may take me another semester or two not to well up with tears at the realization that I'm actually back at college. In the Proverbs 13:12 it says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." I guess I underestimated how much I longed to go back and finish my degree.I learned (or confirmed) I over think, obsess and endlessly analyze minutia.... and, I'm going to have to get a grip on it! My husband said, he had no idea what a geek I was... (I on the other hand, don't know how he's missed it all these years :) Night after night I'd go to sleep around 2 am. He'd wake up and I'd say, I need to stop staying up so late writing, reading, making index study cards.... and he'd kind of laugh and say, I think you just need to come to grips with that is who you are and how you do things. I think he is probably right (He usually is :) I learned that as much as I embrace God's sovereignty in giving us (His creation) free will, other peoples free will that doesn't line up with mine...frustrates me. What I'm saying is WOW... the clash of sensibilities and the sheer free wheeling of illogical suppositions grates on my nerves like nails on a chalk board - so I need to get over my desire to "fix" their ways of thinking (really just causes my tongue to get sore... having to constantly bite it that is) and learn to truly see people as Christ does, love them and trust Him for the outcome. And, every time I think I've finally grown closer to achieving living more compassionately and walking in and extending mercy and grace -internally, my judgemental side turns around and smacks me square in the face. (I've got some work to do.)
Additionally, I learned I really, really (really) don't like group projects. All of my classes had them, and not just one, but ongoing throughout the semester. I will quickly add, I was blessed with wonderful people to work with, but trying to work with a collective dozen or so other individuals time schedules and level of commitment to a project's outcome (having already confessed my obsessive nature) makes me want to scream %$#@!!! (but I try not to use too many potty words) Okay, I did actually learn quite a bit about marketing, writing and organizational behavior while I was there as well. Had interesting and effective professors, and even though I feel the need to go rock back and forth in a dimly lit room for a week or two to decompress, I can't wait to get back there at the end of August and do it all over again. xoxo - I'll keep you posted.
